• (I work the floor at an independently-owned menswear store. The owner, my boss, spends a lot of time at the shop, and tries to keep prices as low as possible to help our city’s large homeless population get good job interview clothes. A clearly homeless man is wandering around the store. The other patrons are giving him looks.)
  • Customer: “Excuse me, sir?”
  • Me: “Yes, ma’am?”
  • Customer: “I think you may want to call security. That… bum over there, he keeps feeling the suits and muttering to himself. I’m just sure he’s planning to steal one.”
  • Me: “Well, ma’am, I think that’s quite unlikely.”
  • Customer: “Oh, come on, you know how they are! I mean, I’d keep an eye on him even if he wasn’t homeless!”
  • (The homeless man in question happens to be Hispanic.)
  • Me: “We don’t discriminate here, ma’am.”
  • Customer: “Well, I’m sure the owner would want to hear about this!”
  • (I give in and call him over. The customer explains her concerns. As a black man, my boss isn’t happy with her racism, but agrees to talk to the homeless man.)
  • Owner: “Excuse me, sir, are you finding what you need?”
  • Homeless Man: “Well, not really. I’m hoping for something versatile in a dark or navy wool, but most of the options in my size are cut American style instead of European, which fits me a little better. Not to mention they’re all pinstriped, which I really don’t have the build for, you know?”
  • Owner: “I… yes, I understand. I think we may have some options over here, if you’ll follow me. How did you know all that?”
  • Homeless Man: “Back before I lost my job, I used to be really into this stuff. I’m not looking for anything fancy, just something I can use to look good for a job interview later today.”
  • (My boss helps him find something he likes, and comes to the counter with him. The suit is priced at $87.)
  • Homeless Man: *digging in his pockets* “Hang on, I think I’ve got enough.”
  • Owner: *to me* “Take my card. I’m buying it for him.” *to the homeless man* “Here. The suit’s yours, on one condition. After your interview today, you come back and apply for a job here too. Got it?”
  • Homeless Man: “I… oh my God, thank you. Thank you so much.”
  • (Two years later, that formerly-homeless man is my manager, and has a little girl with his new wife—the owner’s sister.)
scuttlebuggy:

trashchocolate:

55595472:

eighttwotwopointthreethree:

the-half-boy:

I LIKE IT

I WOULD BUY LIKE A THOUSAND TICKETS FOR THIS

The funniest thing about this is only one of the actors gets drunk and its a different person each night so it isn’t just everyone struggling its everyone else doing their shit and one person fucking it all up it’s BRILLIANT.

HOW DO I AUDITION 

dream job

scuttlebuggy:

trashchocolate:

55595472:

eighttwotwopointthreethree:

the-half-boy:

I LIKE IT

I WOULD BUY LIKE A THOUSAND TICKETS FOR THIS

The funniest thing about this is only one of the actors gets drunk and its a different person each night so it isn’t just everyone struggling its everyone else doing their shit and one person fucking it all up it’s BRILLIANT.

HOW DO I AUDITION 

dream job

musiccokeandfrench:

kenekii:

is anyone out there whos asexual or demisexual? id like to befriend you and talk about cool things together !!! im asexual/demisexual as well !!!

Befriend me!!

*looks around* Asexuals? Who? What? Where?? *looks down at hand* When’d that black ring get there?!? I guess i’m Ace - and message me if you want to do the friend thing! 

yandereartist:

"You can’t be asexual. Such a thing doesn’t exist!"

image

"You’ll want a baby later in life. Everyone does"

image

"You can’t have a relationship without sex!"

image

"You can’t-

image

"You’ll-

image

"Stop laughing!"

image

get yo’ narrow-minded ass outta my face

l-ibellule:

austin-n-oli:

Confession: I have a friend who likes to text me at like 4am when he’s had nightmares or he can’t sleep or he just needs a friend. He thinks I’m always awake at 4am but really I go to bed around 12am and I change his text-tone to the loudest one I have just so it wakes me up when he needs me.

you’re the kind of friend everyone needs

its-a-joke-mkay:

fidefortitude:

crofefs:

i love how there is no comments on this everyone just gets the reference

No. No, I don’t get the reference. 300 thousand people have reblogged this without a word, without so much as a tag, because apparently we all get the reference. I fucking don’t. This has passed by my dashboard hundreds of fucking times and nobody ever asks what the fuck it is.
I’m officially terming this post a conspiracy. 300000 people could not just know what this is. You’re all reblogging this to fit in, or because you know it messes with people, or because you’re the fucking Matrix. You’re the Matrix, aren’t you? You’re all a bunch of Mr Smiths living in a world of green code. Well fuck you all and fuck your stupid post. I’m off to save fucking Zion.
Fuck this.

Dude it’s from spongebob

its-a-joke-mkay:

fidefortitude:

crofefs:

i love how there is no comments on this everyone just gets the reference

No. No, I don’t get the reference. 300 thousand people have reblogged this without a word, without so much as a tag, because apparently we all get the reference. I fucking don’t. This has passed by my dashboard hundreds of fucking times and nobody ever asks what the fuck it is.

I’m officially terming this post a conspiracy. 300000 people could not just know what this is. You’re all reblogging this to fit in, or because you know it messes with people, or because you’re the fucking Matrix. You’re the Matrix, aren’t you? You’re all a bunch of Mr Smiths living in a world of green code. Well fuck you all and fuck your stupid post. I’m off to save fucking Zion.

Fuck this.

Dude it’s from spongebob

acciobenedictcumberbatch:

cedricdigory:

it kind of bothers me that after all this time people still dont understand how sorting works in harry potter

its not necessarily based on the characteristics you possess, its the ones you value, and that my friends is completely different. that is why the sorting hat considers your choice, otherwise why would he bother with your opinion

primary examples would be hermione, wormtail and lockhart

see also: neville

tamsindennis:

people who are like “bi women are privileged over lesbians because they’re still attracted to men” no no nope. go directly to jail do not pass go do not collect $200

expiry:

i wish motherlode worked irl

officialheinzdoofenshmirtz:

darkwingsnark:

officialheinzdoofenshmirtz:

you have 10 seconds to think of a way to make the average vampire movie fresh and new and exciting again

A vampire going through the daily struggles of trying to hide his ever lasting boner— as rigor mortis is an unkind friend. 

JE SUS